Not only do we get to wrap up a year, but in the coming days, we complete an entire decade!
I’ve been feeling the itch to find some way to see the big picture and bring it all full circle. To see all the ups and downs from a certain vantage point that would allow me to say, “Hey, you ain’t doing so bad! Keep up the good work!” As well as, “Hey, you might want to pay a little more attention here in the coming decade.”
I realize there are certain things in life that will take many more years to fully understand, but we can start with some reflection on just the last 10 years.
When I started a deep study of Astrology, I found how they breakdown areas of our lives into “houses.” This structure gave me a great place to start a comprehensive journaling exercise to jog my mind and help me see the last decade for all that it was and how it all connected.
I’ll provide a simple prompt sheet for you to download as well to help you get a super-comprehensive synopsis of your last 10 years. I’ll even post my personal synopsis for you to review and see if it helps you in completing the exercise. My writing was a stream of conscious… just flow and I didn’t really pay attention to proper spelling, grammar, etc, it was just an exercise to get the thoughts out of my mind!
It took me around 30-45 min, but it helped me find a great sense of relief, I even shed a few tears while writing, realizing how much I have learned about life, myself, others in the last 10 years. I am a better person for it all!
Areas to Life to Review
- My SELF
- My STUFF
- My VOICE
- My HOME
- My CREATIONS
- My ROUTINES
- My RELATIONSHIPS
- My CAVE
- My TRUTH
- My REPUTATION
- My CLUBS
- My SANCTUARY
FREE DOWNLOAD: Decade In Review: Journal Guide
My Personal Decade in Review
BODY – 5 Pregnancies. 3 Losses, 2 Full-term babies. This still hurts. I don’t believe I can handle more than I already have of my 5 children, but those 3 losses (all girls) still hold a lot of hope and disappointment and grief. My 2 boys are beautiful. I still feel like they have missed out on a mom who is able to be fully present, they just know me in my grief coping, and striving to be brave through my pain. Though I was formally diagnosed with Hashimotos in 2007 and my blood test numbers showed a reversal of that, I still struggle with my health. I assume the stress of pregnancy, childbirth, motherhood, and business all contributed to this. doTERRA came into my life in 2011 and was incredibly helpful. In 2013 I was able to start running and found great meditation in it. I did begin to have some joint pain and once I started Diamond Club and found out I was pregnant with Tobin, all that stopped and never has picked up again consistently until recently. I am at my heaviest weight currently. Still trying to figure out how to deal with my mindset around my weight, my body, and my innate value. I think I’m making progress. Moving my body helps me manage my stress that I internalize so well.
MIND – I have learned so much this last decade. About energy work (Simply Healed), about the Human Body and essential oils and herbs, about Astrology, about people, about leadership, about Network Marketing and Online Marketing. I believe I have grown in significant ways. I see myself still struggling with thinking too much and theorizing too much. More action might help me learn faster. I hesitate to move and am learning to be brave and do the things anyway.
SPIRIT – I have taken a lot of emotional and spiritual hits in this decade that has humbled me to my knees. Learning that my burdens don’t have to be on my shoulders alone. I have cried many tears. Asked unanswerable questions. I thought I was making headway, just to find myself back to a place of pain and questions. Business has taught me so much about myself and I am grateful for that healthy “escape” from or in my grief management. I am learning to trust my Heavenly Father in greater faith. I am also learning to trust myself. 10 years ago, I might have considered others had all the answers, but now I want to just be still and open my heart and mind to the answers within. To the whisperings of the Spirit that will help me follow a beautiful plan for my life.
In 2010 we wrapped up the short sale of our California home. This was more difficult and traumatizing than I realized as I was mostly in a state of survival and just wanting to leave CA behind. I knew before Jeff that Deseret Book would work out – but it was a long 8-9 months of waiting before they offered him a job and we moved up to Daybreak. The place I couldn’t afford to BUY – but could afford to rent. We rented for 6-7 years before finally building our house. In 2013 when I was running often, I would run up to the Lake and up a hill and look to my left at a plot of ground and knew that I wanted to build there. This dream came true. Through some kind of magic, doTERRA was growing, my team was able to reach Diamond, I was able to produce some kind of training program that became wildly popular and made over 120k. Not expecting that, but grateful for it, it gave me the personal confidence to go ahead with building the house. It was a bit of a stretch as we still had personal debts that we hadn’t been able to pay off. I put all my extra biz money into growing my biz and more. I finally started paying myself regularly. But I see a pattern of feast and famine that I still struggle with. We still have a significant amount of personal debt and business debt. It’s what I want to learn to do. To be responsible with our resources and put ourselves in a place financially where we are free of the shackles. After we moved into our new home, I started to have anxiety attacks. Feeling like we would lose the house and everything in an instant. I joined a mastermind and tried to do whatever I could to prevent loss and prepare for growth. But even with millions of ideas, there was no real action on my part. Financially I began to bleed money in our business. Only creating more and more debt. My personal self-esteem and confidence hit a deep low as I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t move forward in creating business. Nothing felt right anymore and it was like I had lost all passion for my previous pursuits. doTERRA was losing its newness factor, I was frustrated with my health, with my lack of energy for things that could help me out of my challenges. I was in a loop of maintaining what I had built, but no energy for growth. I started seeing how I was standing in the way of everything I wanted, but not willing to move. Everything I tried to do or create was like trying to start an engine that would turn on for a moment, just to die the next. I began the BE SMART program to help myself actually. I made it into a challenge. But it wasn’t something I could or wanted to maintain. We still have the same 2005 Pacifica we bought in 2008. Paid off and still runs like a champ! We have needed a new, larger car for 4 years, but again, I am struggling with large purchases and our debt. More work for me to do here in my mind.
I am getting slowly better at finding the words for what I need to express. This part of me could be the most injured. It might not be a surprise that my illness has most affected my Thyroid, my 5th Chakra. I have learned to trust my voice to Jeff. To speak up. To Him. I trust him now more than ever to hear me and let me have a voice. I have used my voice in good ways, to share knowledge to help others with their health, their pain, their business. I started a blog, but because the FDA got on doTERRA’s back, I had to hide all my words. I want to restart it, but don’t know how to do that – and what my voice will say yet. I want to start a podcast. I have wanted to do that for years. But some kind of fear keeps me from using my voice in that way as well. Because of doTERRA, I have had the joy of many short trips with my husband. Leadership in CA & AZ. Mastermind weeks in CN. Funnel Hacking Live in FL & TN. Retreats in Sundance. Convention in London! My siblings have grown up. The majority of us are married, or soon to be. My focus has shifted into my home and less and less connecting with my siblings. I find that might be more of me needing to find my own healing vs. being part of theirs. It might be selfish, but It’s what I have felt I needed.
Finding my sense of belonging – I still feel I am learning to belong to myself. Like acceptance of myself for all that I am. I finally found a way to set up my home office in a fung-shui way that I like. I am not sure I have spent a ton of time focusing on my home, besides the purchase of a new place to call home. Our neighbors and church family have become a wonderful place for me to feel at home here in Utah finally. When we rented, I still didn’t feel settled, but having our own place has made a huge difference for me, even with all the fears of losing it. I feel as I continue to unpack my childhood experiences, coming at them with a healthier perspective, I feel better about who I am and why I am unique. I am learning to find my tribe of people. People who value FAITH in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and Holy Ghost. People who seek truth and find the expansion of their faith in things that others might judge, like natural medicine, energy work, and astrology. People who value their freedom of time, choice and desire to empower their kids. People who want Religious and Medical Freedom. People who value family. People who are ok with the messy struggle of life and don’t put on faces, but are ok with being REAL and RAW with each other. Life is messy and we shouldn’t judge each other for that.
My children… 10 years! From childhood to teenagerhood. Having all of them in all the ranges is stretching me like nothing else. I see Eliza learning the thought processes of growing up. Norah gaining more confidence in her voice, Zoe finding her own identity, Zayne stretching his power and Tobin finding what his safe boundaries are. I hesitate in my risk-taking but I am working through that. Feeling more and more ready to learn by error and not let it be a reflection on my ego-self. I have dabbled in watercolor painting as a creative outlet, but all my creative hobbies of the past have been boxed away as I grew my business. I have loved developing my computer graphic abilities. I’m more of a hack graphic designer – but I like what I’m able to create and do.
I still struggle here. Homemaking, Dinner preparation, Meal planning, budgeting, all of these things have been so blah to me. I don’t feel any sense of appreciation for them so I tend to ignore them or do the minimum required effort. It’s easy for me to lose ground on any routine for the simple fact that I get bored with the same ol’ same ol’. My routines around my health are like a roller coaster… And that might just be what they will always be. But I do feel this is an area that I can “grow up” in by creating spiritual meaning to the mundane. Finding spiritual and mental insights in the simplicity of my life. Something I desire to appreciate more in my future.
Married for 17 years now… It has been a whirlwind. But I have a safe place in my husband. A best friend. A cheerleader and someone who REALLY SEES me. To be known and loved in that place is a precious gift that I am so grateful for. I have learned what toxic and co-dependent relationships can look and feel like. I have had to learn that I am not a Savior to other humans and let God work his love to help them heal without my presence. I have had work build relationships that I treasure as well as lose relationships that I treasure. I have had to heal a deep sense of feeling rejected by others. I have had to learn to trust that the right people come into and out of my life for a reason and let it be.
My CAVEWith 3 miscarriages in just this decade and 5 total in my life, I have had to go to depths of pain that I naturally would avoid. I have learned more so recently, to not be afraid of the dark. To not be afraid of the pain and powerful emotions. I am learning to let it all flow through me vs. hide from it, or stuff it away. I feel my transformation has a lot to do with my soul and self-worth and I am grateful to be working through the lessons. Pema Chodron’s book “when things fall apart” really helped me finally come to terms with my own pain and the shadow/dark sides of my self. Hiding from myself won’t work. Acceptance of ALL of me – the light and the shadow – are good for my soul. God’s love is in all the broken parts of me. I am stronger and more beautiful because of my broken parts. I’m learning to accept that.
In the last decade, I have come to see that I have opinions for my own reasons. I don’t have to always explain why – because others won’t understand until they have a reason to. Why am I cautious about vaccines and pro-medical-freedom? Because of my life, my body, and my story was impacted deeply from a reaction to a Hep B shot. The more I do my own research, I have found what I feel comfortable with and promote that. I feel closer to my Heavenly Father, I know he knows me. I don’t read my scriptures daily or formally pray as I would like, but I am constantly having conversions and pleadings with Him. I am seeking truth in many forms and it always seems to build my faith in the truths I know. Where others might fall away from their faith as they study energy work or astrology, for me, it has only increased the knowledge and understanding of the Atonement and God’s plan for the details of my life. He knows me, which means he knows all of us. So I can show deeper love and kindness to others.
I’ve always had an entrepreneur bug in me. I’ve tried many things. Some to more success than others. I remember not wanting to really dive into doTERRA because I was worried about what others who “knew” me might think about me joining an MLM business. I was worried about my “reputation,” whatever that was! Obviously I was bigger in my mind than in real life. But I think the underlying intention was right. I wanted to be aligned with things that would truly reflect my deeper values. Healing is that for me. Whatever I learn and share it is because I want to help others find solace and healing. I know pain. I know others know it too. I would like to help comfort them. So this is how I have chosen to share that. I have by some miracle started a doTERRA business that has grown into a Diamond team, somehow. I step back some days and know that God made this happen. I didn’t. I showed passion and excitement, but he brought the pieces together. I have learned that discipline – which I have felt weak for a long time – wasn’t what I thought it was. It is just being willing to do the next thing, and the next and the next. I have found deep compassion for my father. I have come to a place where I can love and respect the individual he is and not let his opinions mess with my mind and make me feel like I am wrong for feeling or seeing things differently. I love him.
Before doTERRA, my world was my family and my church community. I served there as faithfully as I knew how. But my world expanded when doTERRA came around. My goals became bigger, my desire to make a global impact became more possible with the sharing of an oil. I got to surround myself with amazing heart-lead leaders, mentors, and partners. Gina Truman being a key person to pull me out into a bigger place. I have a team of over 2000 members, but a doTERRA family of millions. Russell Brunson and Julie Stoian became mentors for me as I learned about online marketing and had the hope to do so as a mom and woman. They brought me into groups of people who want to do good with their ideas and dreams. I got lost in those groups a bit, but that was for other reasons – mostly being that I hadn’t dealt with my pain and grief to allow me to move forward. So I’m dealing with those things now and will move forward again. Heck, I am moving forward now, it just feels super slow sometimes.
I’ve learned that I like quiet stillness. I have so much going on in my own head, that stillness and connection within myself and with God, helps me. I might not approach it the same way others do. But I need it. The stillness of the night. The feeling of being out in nature and under the stars. The connection with Divinity. I am feeling grateful for the alternative world that has provided me other perspectives on the things I desire to know on a soul level. I am seeing that I have, just like everyone else, spiritual gifts, but I only improve them through practice. I love this place of my life that helps me feel at HOME in a place away from my Heavenly Home.