34 Weeks of Joy

March 27, 2012 | By | 2 Replies More

 

Photo Credit Darlene Foster

I might be one of the few, but I love being pregnant.

I prayed for this baby.  I prayed for this experience.  I wanted deeply to know and appreciate every little movement of a life growing within.  I took it for granted before.  I wanted to remember the feeling of a hic-up, that kick against the ribs and pressure against my hip bones.  I had forgotten about certain aspects of pregnancy like pubis symphasis or hands and feet swelling or the frequent bathroom trips and pained hips from side sleeping (I am totally a belly sleeper).  I am determined not to complain though, because this pregnancy for me is a miracle.

After all of my previous miscarriages, there is no way I would want to pass through this experience with a negative attitude.  I still have moments where my fears of loss arise again.  Just yesterday, driving to my check up, they came out of no where.  Thoughts of “what if I get there and don’t hear that heart beat?” “What if there is a cord accident of some kind?”  “What if’s” love to plague my mind, if I let them.  But they take away from the joy of every moment that I am pregnant. I am so thankful for SimplyHealed as a tool to quickly shift my energy and focus and let go of my fears.

It is the most beautiful feeling to have my 3 other living children come hug my belly, and talk to their brother.  To kiss him goodnight and laugh every time they see my belly move. I love to hear my husband talk about his son in anticipation and not hold back his words because of fear.  I love that when we see each other, he always rubs my belly in greeting to our little one.

There is a real trauma associated with the loss of a child at any age.  I am still healing from mine.  This pregnancy and my choice to not let fear rule it, has been one of the most healing experiences and gifts I could ever have received.

God knew my heart, and for only His goodness, saw fit to heal it in this way.

I realize that I have just 6 weeks left.  Some mothers might be relieved, but there is this part of me that doesn’t want it to end.  I relish every moment and movement.  Even when I wake up at 2am and can’t fall asleep for 2-3 hours (as I write).  Pregnancy is sorta the easy part.  Once our little man arrives, knowing and caring for his needs will be life altering again.  But I am sure I have as much to learn in that experience as I have from these last 34 weeks.

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Category: Blog, Feature, My Rainbow Diary, The Sum of Me

About the Author ()

Tamarah Bartmess is a wife, a mother, a life long learner and entrepreneur. Her mission is to empower women to become advocates for their own health through knowledge about their body, mind and spirit. She especially loves to educate on the benefits of essential oils for supporting the body's health. Tamarah is a Certified SimplyHealed® Practitioner. In her one on one coaching and energy healing sessions Tamarah provides a simple way to experience greater confidence, clarity and contentment in your personal, professional and home life. *The information I share on this website is intended to be for informational purposes only. Nothing I say is intended to provide a professional medical diagnosis or to recommend any particular course of treatment, nor cure any diagnosis provided by a professional physician.*

Comments (2)

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  1. amber ostler says:

    Tam. . . . love this post. You are an inspiration to me and I love you! All of your children, here on earth and above are truly blessed to have you as a mother. I hope to someday call you when I am at 34 weeks and have you remind me of what a great experience pregnancy can be. :)

  2. Andrea Bickmore says:

    Tamarah, I’m with you on this one, I think pregnancy is a little different when you have prayed for it. Pregnancy is such a miracle and should be enjoyed every moment!

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