Today I am 13 weeks pregnant! YAY!
I have felt a bit off though for the last week and have been definitely experiencing pregnancy brain fog for the last 6 weeks at least. I might be coming out of it now, crossing my fingers.
I think there is a stress that I am feeling that I don’t know how to express. It seems to underlay everything I am doing. I am trying to be calm, positive and yet realistic at the same time. I will be meeting with my OB weekly starting next Monday. I declined taking baby asprin or low-dose heprin shots for the pregnancy, as there has been no testing results of mine to indicate that the loss of my babies in the past was due to a clotting problem. I am really trying to just approach this pregnancy like any other healthy and normal pregnancy I have had. Funny thing is that I can’t really remember what it feels like to get to the second trimester and not feel stressed. I need to work on that. I am sure I could pull up the memories of a healthy baby and belly growing. I was so nieve with my first two pregnancies. I was even nerveous with Zoe, my 4th pregnancy but 3 child. I don’t know if I have ever had the presence of mind to appreciate the second trimester for the beauty that it is and the rapid growth of our little one and my waistline.
I am trying to stay busy and not allow myself to get caught in the undercurrent of stress that seems to be there. But I feel like I am simply tredding water and not getting anywhere or doing anything of value. Sometimes I think that the state of my house would reflect the state of my mind. It really might be time to hire a maid. 🙂
I think by verbally admitting the presence of the emotions of worry, doubt, fear, sadness and so much more is helpful. I am determined though that I won’t LIVE in those emotions. They will come to the fore front and the healthiest thing I can do is acknowledge their appearance and choose then to focus on happy thoughts.
10 fingers, 10 toes, fingerprints being formed, 3 inches long. My husband and daughters talking about this baby all the time. My willingness to tell other women around me about our exciting news. I want to simply shake my worries and cautiousness to the wind and feel happy and healthy ALL the time.
Here is to a week with that as my goal.
When you are stressed, what are your happy thoughts? Please share!